When Should I Give Up?

Making everything balance has proven to be impossible so far.

Photo by the author

I’m in a bit of a bind.

People always talk about work life balance. Like so many others, I’ve struggled with it, but I’ve tried my best to be there for my family and get the work done that’s expected of me.

But recently, I think I’ve hit my match.

High level, this is what I need to balance:

1. I need to make money.
2. My wife struggles with dysautonomia, which recently has meant not being able to drive…or even walk more than a block or two. Plus there’s been a ton of doctors appointments to try to figure this out (and a lot of shrugging doctors).
3. My son has severe anxiety along with his autism. He freaks out when he’s alone in another room of the house. There’s zero chance of him getting to and from school alone, so I have to take him (and literally walk him to the door). He also has a lot of therapies.

I quit my high paying, miserable job to basically run the household. I still have some work, and I was hoping to build up some more, but with tax extension season ending next week, I don’t think any more is coming this year.

Worse, until issue #2 and/or #3 are better under control, getting a new full time job will be difficult, if not impossible.

Yes, we have some family in the area that help quite a bit, but we can only expect so much from them.

Yes, we have some friends in the community that are willing to help, but really only if it involves my (mostly) typical daughter. She is the easy one. With my son, even government subsidies for his care aren’t enough to find reliable help.

[Side note: he was actually kicked out of the children’s program at church when he was younger because he has a hard time not cussing and threatens people when he feels stressed — which, with his anxiety, is a lot. “We love him and want him here, but he can’t talk like that. He can come in when he watches his language.” I still haven’t found the verse where Jesus kicked out special needs children because they can’t control their mouth.]

On top of all of this, I got a random deposit in my account from an old side employer. It was clearly an error, and I reached out. They now believe they overpaid me on previous paychecks as well, so they’re going to calculate how much I’ll need to give back.

I wasn’t counting on this latest deposit, of course, but the rest of the money I had assumed was mine.

Balancing item #1 is suddenly pushing down that much more.

Mostly Just Need To Rant

I’ve been trying to figure out how to balance this potentially long term new reality for months now.

I was hoping an answer would appear at some point, that in all of my searching and effort there’d be a bright flashing light calling me to look over there.

No such luck so far.

From time to time, I need to rant, so I might as well rant out to the internet void.

Though if anyone does have a suggestion, I am more than happy to hear it.

Here’s something I’ve put together while working on this balance: a free, 6 day mini course on putting together your independent entrepreneurial venture. Sign up for it here!